I know, I am married. Why am I writing about singleness? Because, I once was single. For the past few years, the majority of my friends have been married people. But now, I am friends with some non-marrieds. And I love that. But it has got me thinking about a time in my life where I struggled. Where I thought I would never meet "the one". And when I learned and grew so much through that struggle.
I was one of those girls who had so many married friends around her, telling her they understood the struggle. I never believed them, they were after all, already married. But for me, I still remember. It was only 4 short years ago, I was struggling with being single.
I remember four or five years ago sitting with a friend talking about contentment while being single. She asked me how it was that I was ok with it, knowing my desire to be a wife. I told her, "I bought a bed".
I can explain. But first, let me go back a little ways. I never really dated. I had one or two "boyfriends" that never lasted more than a couple weeks. I liked a lot of boys. But that was it. None of them liked me back. So when I left for college, I thought that maybe, I would meet someone. I was after all attending Multnomah "Bridal" College. Where the saying was "ring by spring, or your money back". Or instead of "if it's Bible you want, then you want Multnomah" it was "if its a bride you want, then you want Multnomah". I thought surely I would meet him at school. Well, five (I did go to grad school there) springs came and went, with no ring. And I am still waiting for that money! :) My Senior year, one of my good friends was in a pretty serious relationship. I remember talking to her about this struggle of contentment in singleness. She told me to focus on Truth. You know the verse that says, "Whatever is true...pure..noble...think on these things" (Phil. 4:8). So I did. I started focusing on truth in relationships, and on the truth of my relationship with Christ.
For the next year or so I really began to ponder these things. To ponder singleness. I began to change my mind set. Instead of worrying if I would ever find that guy, I began living my life. I made some choices. I decided I was going to go to Grad. School. I was going to work at a church. I was going to buy a bed.
(Here's the bed story: see I had always thought, that when I got married is when I was going to get a "big" bed, so buying a new bed, a big bed, meant I was thinking I may never get married) I began to live my life as if I was going to be single for a long time. Sure, I had hard days. Being a bridesmaid 5 times is not easy when you have a strong desire to be the bride. But it worked. I was loving life. I was happy. Content.
So much so, that when my friend Kristine first suggested four years ago, that I go on a blind date. I almost said no. I knew I might be moving "home". I was happy. Like I said, I ALMOST said no. I am glad I didn't. Because it was four years ago when Ryan and I first started thinking of going on a blind date. It was in July that we finally started emailing. And in August, I met him for the first time.
I don't want to say that when you are finally content being single, God will bring a man (or woman) into your life. I don't think there is a formula. I just know that for me, I needed that time of singleness. I had to walk that journey. I had to learn to Love God first, and trust in His Truth before I was the one ready for Ryan.
