October 18 Reflections

I am a writer. I like to start each piece with a killer sentence. Something that will shock you, something that will grab your attention. Something you will resonate with. I could start this piece with a line about one of our first nights here and our first experience with a tornado warning...the fear, the intimidation of it, the respect for it and our longing to return to all that was comfortable. I could start this with a line about the emotion we had driving out of Portland for the last time - emotion so intense, there wasn't a bodily function to express it. I could write about the disappointment we felt after attending our first church service here - knowing we were totally under dressed and lonely and would be lonely for another week. I could write about the excitement we felt the first night we went out to dinner with a couple and came away feeling like we had met new friends. I could write about the fresh air that I walked in each morning or the intense humidity that greeted me when I opened the door on a mid-summer morning. I could talk about the joy we felt when Danielle was offered a job at the church. You get the point by now. This isn't about one event or one story, this about many stories and many lessons we have learned in our first year in Nashville.

The Lord brought us to this place. It's not perfect, it's not a place I would have picked - it's a place he picked and he chose us as imperfect people to be part of . We struggled at times this last year. The first couple months were hard. We felt lonely, scared, longing for friends and longing for a place that felt like home. But through it all, we knew this was his plan and what would evolve would not be what we wanted or how we planned, but what we he wanted and what he planned. I remember waking up several mornings wondering what we were doing here. All I knew is that he wanted us here and he would allow things to happen that regularly reminded us of that truth. It took time, but we became content in it. He taught us to believe in ways we never had, to love each other in ways we didn't know we could and he is delivering his plan to us step-by-step...which is better than anything we could have imagined ourselves.

It's only fitting to recap what a year it has been and give our great God the praise for what he is doing in Nashville and how he using this place and the people here to challenge us and grow us. Our first experience with storms happened about 48 hours after we arrived. We lived through it and lived through many more. We have learned what clouds to fear, what clouds to ignore, we have seen the sky pitch black in the middle of the day and felt the power of the fierce winds and intense humidity in the middle of the night. In the winter, we got to experience one of Nashville's worst snowfalls in many years. There were several major snow events (more than 2 inches) this year which is much more than the city normally gets. We learned here that driving in the snow here means stopping on hills and tailgating the person in front of you - no matter how much ice may be on the road! The spring was wonderful with warm weather early plus a few storms. The summer brought heat and humidity that Ryan loved and Danielle preferred to avoid. We experienced Cicadas. Giant and very loud bugs that appear once every 13 years. They weren't the only bugs we saw, we also saw some big spiders along some of our favorite walking trails. Throughout this year, I have been reminded God has a since of humor and I think he's using us and our experiences to entertain him!

Enough with the weather, here's the good stuff! We have seen more of this incredible country than we ever imagined! On our way here, we drove through Idaho, Utah, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois and Kentucky. In the Spring, Danielle and I got away for a few days in Atlanta. In the Summer, we visited friends in Springfield, Missouri and spent a day in Branson, time in Memphis, Louisville and Indianapolis. During a visit with Danielle's parents, we visited a space museum in Huntsville, Alabama. We have seen countless places around Nashville and appreciated so much of this nation's great history.

Our family has been a huge support to us. Both sets of our parents visited, Ryan's Grandparents spent time with us as did Danielle's brother. Their support through this year has been wonderful and so special. I wouldn't be telling the truth if I said we haven't missed watching our niece and nephew grow up. Even during the toughest moments, I have to remember that God brought us to this place and wants us here. I can't begin to tell you what an assurance this truth has been - and one we believe will hold up until he moves us somewhere else.

Our friends! What a special gift. The first couple we met was a couple a little older than our parents. Dave and Reba have been so wonderful. They invited us to church and we soon started attending there, they helped us get involved at church and have had us over for dinner numerous times. This has been a very special relationship that we are so thankful for. They really have been a gift from God - especially during the first few months here when we felt alone.

We got plugged in to a Sunday School at church. Danielle was sick the first Sunday so Ryan went alone. I was terrified, but so glad I went. That first week, another couple came for the first time. Over time, we became friends with them. We met another couple as well that we became instantly close with. They were in our lives for a short period of time before moving to Missouri for work, but we all remain close friends and talk several times a week. We have visited them and had many great conversations. We have become close with another couple as well. This is in addition to several other relationships we now have. Ryan meets with a group of guys for coffee every other Friday and Danielle has several friends she meets with on a regular basis.

Our jobs! Yep, the Lord is providing! Ryan's job is going well. I continue to grow and learn new things. I am managing a group of about 80 people. They stretch me, drive me crazy, make me laugh and do great work! They are a group of hard-working people - and let me say, the Lord is alive in this newsroom! God is working on the hearts of people here and there are a number of believers praying for non-believers. It is an exciting thing to be part of.

Danielle came here without a job. We didn't know if she would work or if she would volunteer. She started volunteering for a pastor at our church. Over time, she was offered her dream job with the Youth Ministry. She plans many of the events and is an administrative assistant to the High School Pastor. She also coordinates volunteers to work at the front desk. She is really enjoying it and people are loving here! I can brag, I am her husband! A lady came up to me a couple of Sundays ago and wanted me to know how much people appreciate my wife. She went on to tell me that Danielle keeps things organized and truly shows that she cares for people. It is so exciting to see the Lord using Danielle in this area.

We have been having so much fun experiencing new things. From new restaurants, to pumpkin patches, new stores, new towns and new adventures. This place is truly a special place to us.

As I reflect on this year, I am thankful. God is taking care of us and meeting our needs in more ways than we could imagine. He is paving the way for us. I look back on the past 12 months and have a hard time accepting all that has happened because it truly has been so much. We believed when we began dating that God would move us somewhere. We felt and emptiness and a longing for him to do more with our lives. My friends and family, he is doing it. We are full and satisfied with what is taking place each day. God is changing us and allowing us to be challenged and grow in new ways. We don't know what happens next, but we know he is leading the way. We are so thankful for so many people who have prayed for us and encouraged us along this journey. This is an exciting time in our history and we look forward to the future he has planned for us.

-Ryan

Also, today is our 3 year Anniversary!

Is it really October?

Where has the time gone?? I feel like it was just the beginning of summer, and here we are..October!

It seems that so much has been happening in the Hawes House. And we are looking forward to so much.

First, for those who don't know...my "sprained" knee turned out to be a torn ACL. Which means Surgery. That happens in November...I am a little nervous to be honest. We have been told the recovery can take a while and the physical therapy is intense. I am thankful for Ryan who will take good care of me!

My parents were here in August. We had such a great time visiting with them. We went to Carnton Plantation, Opryland, Jack Daniel's, Huntsville and so much more. It was so wonderful seeing them. We hadn't seen them since Christmas.

Speaking of visitors, my brother also came for a visit. I loved just chilling with him. I have missed that guy!

Work has been crazy good for both Ryan and I. For me, the school year has started up. We started our small groups and activities for the year! It is so much fun. I love my job so much! I work with great people, and my small group is pretty awesome. Love those girls! We are in the midst of busy season. Back to back events...and I am so excited. Currently I am planning our Halloween Bash, and it's going to be so great! And scary (yikes)! Ryan is loving is his job! They just launched their new set and it looks awesome! So proud of him and how hard he works.

Speaking of Ryan...we are nearing his birthday. But I will post more about that later! With that, we are going to go see the Colts (my team) beat the Chiefs (Ryan's team). We cannot wait!

We are also getting ready to celebrate three years of marriage! I cannot believe it has been three years. I so love being married to Ryan. We have so much fun!

Well, I just wanted to share a brief recap on our lives the past couple of months. I really should try and do this more often!

Leadership

Leadership is a great thing. Being in a position of leadership can be a very painful thing.
One of the rewarding things I get to do is build into future leaders. I think every leader wants future leaders to learn from their mistakes.
I have a different approach that requires a lot less talking and a lot more living. My goal is to let leaders make mistakes and be there for them when they do.
Just like I need to make mistakes, future leaders need to make them too. They don't need someone to tell them what they did wrong, they need someone to tell them
what to do when you're at rock bottom and there's no one around to pick you up. Do something different today. Invest in a leader. Let them make mistakes, lots of them - then be there for them when no one else is.
Remind them that part of being a leader is making a mistake. Don't talk about your mistakes. They don't matter. Listen to what they did and patiently (and quietly) let them discover success.
I assure you this will be an example of a leader they want to model. Remember, some of the most influential people say some of the fewest words.

-Ryan

Story of Us

I didn't intend to steal the title of this blog from Taylor Swift...but it fits.

It was four years ago today Ryan and I met for the first time. I thought this would be a good time to share our story (thus far). I know many of you know it already, but hey, it's my blog and I like to tell it! :)

A little over four years ago I moved in with my friend Kristine. She was planning a mission trip with Ryan. I had been hearing about him all year. When we lived together, she kept trying to set me up on a date with him. We tried. And failed. We had a plan to go on a double date with her and her boyfriend. Ryan finally resorted to emailing me.

Our emails started off filled with questions and answers. We really jumped in and started to get to know each other. After his second email to me, I called my Mom and told her I thought I was going to marry this man. After a month of emailing, and eventually phone calls, we finally both were free to meet.

Which brings us to four years ago today. Our first date. I was so nervous and so excited! We went to Cafe Mingo near 23rd in Portland. We sat outside and enjoyed a rare, beautiful summer night. The conversation was easy. We had a great time. I was still nervous though. During diner a bug had flown into my wine. So instead of telling Ryan (I knew he would want to get me a new glass) I just kept drinking around the bug...well a little while later, Ry said he had a bug in his glass and I exclaimed "oh, me too". It wasn't until later in our relationship I told him I had the bug in mine for a while. We still laugh about it!

We began to spend more time together. During that first week, I was formally offered a job in Olympia at a church. This had been in the works before I even met Ryan. We went to the beach a week after our first date. I remember sitting at restaurant and Ryan asking me if dating long-distance was "worth it?". I was a little upset. Here we had just started to date, and he was breaking up with me? Thankfully he thought it through and didn't end our relationship there.

Sure enough, a couple weeks later I moved. Thus beginning our long-distance relationship. He would come to Yelm 3 weekends a month. I would go to Portland one. Not to mention every Sunday I would head to Portland for school. Thankfully we had some great friends who let me stay with them during this time.

That October Ryan and I had "the talk". Where was this going? I knew. He knew. But we hadn't talked about it. It was in October he told me he wanted to marry me. Well, I had figured that and knew the date I wanted to get married. So I said, oh good me too. How about October 18 next year? He said sure! :) We did talk that we wouldn't plan a wedding, talk about getting married, or anything related until he proposed. That was so hard!

I didn't have to wait long. December 15, 2007 just four months after we dated, Ryan proposed. We had plans to go out to a nice dinner. It was supposed to be at the Space Needle, but that changed to Portland City Grill. I was suspicious, but he had told me not on or before Christmas. In fact, I had talked to my friend Tiffany that morning and she asked if he was going to propose, I said I don't think so.

We went to dinner. The whole time I kept wondering. Will the ring be in my champagne? Will this family with kids (who brings kids to that fancy of a place?) leave so he can get on a knee? Nothing. It was more awkward than our first date!

We headed to Pioneer Square. He was acting weird. He kept looking around. I thought he was looking for a friend who was taking pictures. Turns out he was looking for a horse-drawn carriage. When he couldn't wait anymore, he kneeled under the 75ft. Christmas tree and asked me to marry him. I of course, said yes.

Ten months later on October 18, 2008 we were married. A mere 14 months from when we went on that first date. I know that doesn't sound like much time, but we felt it was right for us. And we had our families blessing from the beginning.

I can't believe it has been four years. Four amazing years. We have changed so much in that time. We have traveled. Moved. Adopted a cat. Become an Aunt and Uncle. Lived. Loved. Loss. Gained. Struggled. Rejoiced. And we have become stronger because of it.

I am so lucky to be married to such an amazing man. Happy 4 years together hubby. I love you!

Christ has Risen

In June I was able to attend our Beach Camp! It was a great time. Our worship band was amazing! They sang a couple songs I just loved. I only remember them singing "Christ has Risen" once. I didn't think much of it, because I didn't know it. I have since added all the songs from camp to my ipod. And this one has become a new favorite. I have been listening to it over and over and over again. So, I thought I would share it with you.

Christ has Risen by Matt Maher
Let no one caught in sin remain
Inside the lie of inward shame
But fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to Him who showed great love
And bled for us
Freely You've bled for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave
Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bowed to none but heaven's will
No scheme of hell, no scoffer's crown
No burden great can hold You down
In strength You reign
Forever let Your church proclaim

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead
He's alive! He's alive!

Springfield Trip

I am a blogger slacker. At least on this blog! But we have been BUSY! I feel like summer is flying by. I cannot believe we are already in the middle of July. I must confess, I am ready for fall. This 90 degree + weather is driving me nuts. I have never liked the heat, then you add humidity. Yeah, that's fun. I am more thankful for AC than ever before!

Back in June we were able to go visit our good friends Dennis and Katie! They moved to Springfield in May. We were so excited to see them and experience their life. Boy, we had a great time. We ate a lot, drove a lot, and played a lot! We spent a day in Branson. Oh my! So fun! We are so blessed to have these friends in our life! Here are a few photos from our trip to see them:

Ryan and I at the Fantastic Caverns


Inside the Fantastic Caverns


Katie and I at Ripleys. Largest ball of string.


Riding the Ducks!


Ryan with his quacker...annoying!


The Duck in the water...scared me!


Katie!


Lunch in Branson. It was awesome.


Thank you again Dennis and Katie for such a fun trip! We can't wait for our next adventure! :)

Singleness

I know, I am married. Why am I writing about singleness? Because, I once was single. For the past few years, the majority of my friends have been married people. But now, I am friends with some non-marrieds. And I love that. But it has got me thinking about a time in my life where I struggled. Where I thought I would never meet "the one". And when I learned and grew so much through that struggle.

I was one of those girls who had so many married friends around her, telling her they understood the struggle. I never believed them, they were after all, already married. But for me, I still remember. It was only 4 short years ago, I was struggling with being single.

I remember four or five years ago sitting with a friend talking about contentment while being single. She asked me how it was that I was ok with it, knowing my desire to be a wife. I told her, "I bought a bed".

I can explain. But first, let me go back a little ways. I never really dated. I had one or two "boyfriends" that never lasted more than a couple weeks. I liked a lot of boys. But that was it. None of them liked me back. So when I left for college, I thought that maybe, I would meet someone. I was after all attending Multnomah "Bridal" College. Where the saying was "ring by spring, or your money back". Or instead of "if it's Bible you want, then you want Multnomah" it was "if its a bride you want, then you want Multnomah". I thought surely I would meet him at school. Well, five (I did go to grad school there) springs came and went, with no ring. And I am still waiting for that money! :) My Senior year, one of my good friends was in a pretty serious relationship. I remember talking to her about this struggle of contentment in singleness. She told me to focus on Truth. You know the verse that says, "Whatever is true...pure..noble...think on these things" (Phil. 4:8). So I did. I started focusing on truth in relationships, and on the truth of my relationship with Christ.

For the next year or so I really began to ponder these things. To ponder singleness. I began to change my mind set. Instead of worrying if I would ever find that guy, I began living my life. I made some choices. I decided I was going to go to Grad. School. I was going to work at a church. I was going to buy a bed.
(Here's the bed story: see I had always thought, that when I got married is when I was going to get a "big" bed, so buying a new bed, a big bed, meant I was thinking I may never get married) I began to live my life as if I was going to be single for a long time. Sure, I had hard days. Being a bridesmaid 5 times is not easy when you have a strong desire to be the bride. But it worked. I was loving life. I was happy. Content.

So much so, that when my friend Kristine first suggested four years ago, that I go on a blind date. I almost said no. I knew I might be moving "home". I was happy. Like I said, I ALMOST said no. I am glad I didn't. Because it was four years ago when Ryan and I first started thinking of going on a blind date. It was in July that we finally started emailing. And in August, I met him for the first time.

I don't want to say that when you are finally content being single, God will bring a man (or woman) into your life. I don't think there is a formula. I just know that for me, I needed that time of singleness. I had to walk that journey. I had to learn to Love God first, and trust in His Truth before I was the one ready for Ryan.