Happy New Year!

Happy New Year from the Hawes family.

The end of the year is a great time to reflect on what has been and look forward to what will be. For us, this year has been a time of celebration, transition and restoration! It’s been a year where we have really seen God do some amazing work both in our lives and in the lives of those close to us. We praise God for what has been and look forward to what will be. We have had several reminders this year that our days are short and our time here is not permanent. We want to praise God today and not wait until tomorrow.

Two major events standout to us about 2013.

First, would be Brooklynn’s adoption being finalized in May and then our move in late October. Many of you walked through the adoption journey with us. That season changed when the adoption became final. A few days after it was final, we had the honor of speaking with her birth-mom at an adoption fundraiser.

The other major event was our move to Oregon in late October. While Danielle and I had felt God calling us away from Nashville for about a year, we had no idea we would be moving back to the Northwest. While the roads and physical places are familiar and it’s so great being close to family, we find ourselves being strangers in a familiar place. We are looking forward to getting involved in a church, developing relationships with people we don’t yet know and serving God in ways we have never done before.

We have had several memories and experiences this year that we will take with us into the future.

Here are just a few of the highlights

-Celebrated Brooklynn’s first birthday in St. Helens, OR with family and friends

   -Celebrated our 5^th wedding anniversary while packing for our move

-Welcomed my cousin home from Afghanistan at Ft. Campbell, KY

-Enjoyed countless church services at The People’s Church in Franklin

-We grieved with dear friends as their father and husband faced cancer head-on and watched them surrender him to his savior. Their testimony remains ever so powerful.

-We observed God deliver some healing to Ryan’s Grandma who fractured her spine during a vacation to Hawaii and have watched him give her the strength to get through this challenging time.

-We said goodbye to so many incredible people in Nashville, Franklin and KY who have blessed our family in ways they will never know

-We made great memories with friends at a pumpkin patch in KY

-We had a fun visit with friends in Lexington and enjoyed a trip to Cincinnati seeing the Mariners

-Ryan’s Mom, Sister and Niece came to visit us in Nashville. We went swimming, saw Opryland, downtown Nashville, went on a carriage ride, saw Franklin, ate at Pancake Pantry and so much more.

-We had a good Thanksgiving with Danielle’s family at our Oregon home

-Enjoyed a fun day trip down the Natchez Trace to see Tupelo, Mississippi and the birthplace of Elvis

-Ryan and his Dad got to drive across the country during the move. They had a special time together seeing so much of this great country. Danielle and Brooklynn enjoyed a few days at her parents’ house.

-We had our niece over for to bake Christmas cookies and play with Brooklynn. Lots of fun memories!

-A friend who Ryan has known for more than a decade got married in Hawaii (sadly, we could not attend).

-Took Brooklynn to the Oregon Coast for the first time and she had a blast playing in the sand, watching sea gulls and “barking” at dogs that were there!

-Rejoiced from a distance as good friends welcomed their sweet baby boy!

-Celebrated as a family our nephew turning 4!

This is just a glimpse of what we have experienced this year. God has been so good to us and our families. We don’t know what the new year holds, but truly look forward to seeing what God will do in the year to come.

From our family to yours, Happy New Year.

Worlds Apart

As I was driving home tonight I pulled my old Jars of Clay CD.  You know, the one with "Flood".  But I moved to one of my favorite songs, "Worlds Apart".  This song has been one to impact me many seasons and in many ways.  This constant battle of my flesh vs. my spirit.  This longing to leave so much behind.  This prayer that God would literally take my world apart in order to draw me closer to Him.  To create a love for Him that cannot be shaken.  And time and time again I come before the Lord asking him to once again "take my world apart".  And time and time again he does.  Like this season with Brooklynn and the unknown if she would remain our daughter.  My world was turned upside down, but in the midst of the pain, I was drawn closer to Christ.

I love this song.  I have for many years.  And as I said, it's taken on so many different meanings in different times in my life.  I just wanted to share it (the bridge is my favorite part).



                                                          

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

[Additional lyrics:]

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

Update on Brooklynn

Family & Friends,

I wanted to provide you an update on where things are right now with our sweet Brooklynn.

Next Tuesday, January 8th - attorneys for our adoption agency will present their case to terminate the birth-father's rights.

He had until December 27th to notify the court he wanted parental rights and our attorney says he did not notify the court.

That means on Tuesday, his rights will be terminated.

There is a chance he could show up and appeal, but it would be long and expensive legal battle for him.

That said, there is still a possibility.

The birth-mom is also expected to terminate her rights on Tuesday, if his rights are terminated.

She would have 10 days to take those rights back.

To our knowledge, she continues to be in support of the adoption.

The next 4 days are big, as the past several weeks have been.

I humbly ask each of you to pray with us over the next 4 days.

We are asking God's will to be done and we believe it will be.

We are also asking favor from God and that he will allow us to parent Brooklynn.  This is not a selfish prayer, this is the desire of our hearts.

We acknowledge that Satan is not pleased with what is taking place and how God is already using Brooklynn's story to impact lives.

Therefore, I ask you to pray for protection from his attacks.

Specifically for Brooklynn, the birth-dad, the birth-mom, our attorneys, the adoption agency and for us.

Thank you all for your love and support during this journey.

Your prayers are having a tremendous impact on our lives and we pray regularly God will bless you as he has used you to bless us.

Ryan & Danielle

Grateful and Hopeful

I work for a pretty cool company.  It encourages you to spend some time reflecting and dreaming and you don't have to share anything with anyone else about it.  I, however, am choosing to share it with you.  We were all challenged to write down 10 things we are grateful for this holiday season and three goals we have for next year.  I figured it only made sense to turn it into a blog post.  In no particular order, here are 10 things I am grateful for.

Thankful for tough times

-Danielle and I have walked through some very difficult times this year - mainly with our adoption of Brooklynn.  I am thankful for the hope our heavenly father provides and that never once did he abandon us.  I am thankful that Danielle and I chose to cling to the promises of the Bible instead of giving into the temptation of saying "whoa is me" during these times.  What we are learning will shape us for the rest of our lives.

Grateful for my Wife

-The greatest honor of my life is that Danielle chose to marry me.  I wish you all could see how amazing she is and how amazing she has been this year.  She keeps our home, takes care of Brooklnn, takes care of me, has dinner ready every night when I get home and gives to others.  I can't wait for another year of many laughs and great experiences together!

Thankful for Brooklynn

-I am thankful for my precious baby.  I have no idea how long she'll be mine, but I know she'll be God's forever.  I am thankful for the joy she brings to us, the added responsibility of being a parent and reminding me how much fun there is in the simplest of things.  I love that I get to hold her, snuggle with her, pray for her, help her, feed her, change her diaper and provide for her. 

Thankful for Family

-I wish everyone was as fortunate as I am to have the family I have.  My parents, Aunt and Uncle, Mother-in-law and Brother-in-law all visited this year.  I also enjoy speaking to my parents regularly.  They are a wealth of knowledge and incredible support.  I continue to talk to my Grandparents on a daily basis and my Nana every Sunday afternoon.  The example they live out every day is inspiring and admirable.  I miss my Sister and Niece and Nephew and can't wait to spend time with them in a week.

Grateful for Friends

-I've always been very private about myself and about life.  One of my goals this year was to open up a little bit more and to take risks with people.  Situations kind of forced that to happen, but I couldn't be more thankful for it.  At 31 years old, I have the best friends in my life.  I have had a friend travel across the country to visit, another friend meets me weekly to pray and read the bible, another friend is always a text message away and has met me early in the morning to pray about life and another friend is always ready for a good laugh.  I had no idea how richly God would bless me in this area when we moved to Nashville a couple years ago.  Our friends have been our family - spending holidays with them, celebrating milestones with them and living life together.  This will always be a season of life I am especially thankful for and consider myself so "rich" by the relationships God has given me.

Grateful for the Outdoors

-I made a goal this year to get outside more.  I live in a beautiful part of the country and there is so much to see.  This year, I have spent more time exploring parks and lakes around us.  During the hot Summer months, I took every chance I could to get outside and sweat in the beauty of nature.  During these times, I found myself with such admiration for creation and a closeness to the Lord I haven't felt at other times.

Thankful I have chosen to be more direct

-As simple as this sounds, one of my goals this year has been to be more direct in my communication with people.  As a guy who always wanted to please people, I found myself not being as direct as I should be at times.  This year, I have worked on clearly communicating with people - being direct, honest and respectful.  It's made a big difference.

Appreciating Sacrifice

-This is a broad thing to be grateful for, but one I think a lot about.  Before I get up each day, there are so many people who have already sacrificed for me.  First, God sacrificing his son for my salvation, then I think of my cousin serving in the Middle East with many others so I can live a relatively easy life, I think of family who sacrificed for me, I think of my wife who sacrifices all the time for me, I think of friends who have sacrificed for me and the list goes on.  Sacrifice is a great thing and I am so thankful for it.

Grateful for Travel

-We have covered a lot of miles this year!  Danielle and I went home for the holidays last year and are doing the same in a week, we spent time on the beaches of South Carolina, visited Charleston, explored Charlotte including the Billy Graham Museum, went to Arkansas, then to Missouri, we've explored the caves of Kentucky, the Bourbon Trail, spent time in one of my favorite cities, Atlanta and so much more.  I love to travel because I like to appreciate the beautiful place we call earth!

Thankful for the Lord

-I've mentioned it throughout this post in various ways, but more this year than any other year in my life - the Lord has been my rock.  I chose to follow him years ago and I finally feel like I am starting to understand what it means to really live for him, or at least try.  He has been my protector, my strength, my encourager, my source of joy, my accountability, my provider and the one I get to praise.  I have spent years admiring those who really loved and trusted the Lord and I'm starting to get a better glimpse of how you get to that place in life where he is all you need, all you want and all you desire.  I have a long ways to go, but I am slowly getting to a point where nothing else matters.

10 things I am thankful for.  It's good stuff. I am a blessed man and I don't take it for granted.  This has been a challenging year, but an incredible year.  I have seen God work in my life and those around me in huge ways.  I have seen God restore marriages, provide for the poor, encourage the hopeless, meet all kinds of needs, comfort the lonely and heal the sick.  I have witnessed God provide strength in the tough times and praised him in the good times.  I have cried out to God and he has answered me.  As 2012 comes to an end, I praise God for this year and how he has drawn so many closer to him.

Giving Thanks

Colossians 3:17-18
¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.


It is a cool winter day here in Nashville.  The sun is bright, the sky is blue and my heart is content.  How can this be?  I keep asking myself and even God if I should be sad or depressed with everything that has been happening in the past several weeks with Brooklynn.  It's been hard.  It has pushed me, it has tested me, but I feel satisfied today.  I feel full in life.  It just doesn't make sense because I know Satan is on the attack, I know he wants to take us down.  He's trying and he's stepping up his fight.  I see it around me, I see it close to me - but I feel secure.  I feel secure in the Lord.


My mind is at peace.  Even if it is just for a second, I feel at a peace.  This is alone is reason to give thanks.  This alone is reason to smile, to be joyful.  I know hard moments are here, I know hard moments are ahead, but I know God is in control.  I have surrendered control of my life. 



So even if just for a moment, even if just for a day - I give thanks to God.  Even in the most challenging of times, he can provide what we can't provide for ourselves.  He can provide the stamina, energy, the mindset, peace, power, control, the willingness and the ability to live through today.


For this, I give thanks.  

-Ryan

Update on Brooklynn

Family & Friends,

It's been a while since we gave you an update on where things are with Brooklynn.

The reason being, there hasn't been much of an update.

However, this morning we received word that the adoption agency's attorney has served papers to the birth-father's attorney to terminate his rights.

The birth-father has 30 days from today to respond or his rights will be terminated.

This is what we had prayed would happen and we are thankful for that.

During the 30 day period, the birth-dad could order a paternity test to prove he is her father and we could lose her.

If he proved this, it would be a battle over her between the birth-dad and birth-mom and we wouldn't have her anymore.

He may also choose to do nothing and then birth-mom would terminate her rights (which she has told us she wants to do) and we would keep Brooklynn.

We know a lot could happen in the next 30 days, so we tread very carefully.

We are confident that God's plan will prevail and we'll trust him no matter what happens.

The verse that comes to mind today for both Brooklynn and for us is:
Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

We have had two consistent prayers throughout this process.

First, that God would protect Brooklynn and make sure she is with the family she is supposed to be with.  We pray that is with us.

Second, that God would be pleased with our response and our actions during this time.

We also  ask you join us in praying for the birth-father and the birth-mother.

Knowing how much I love Brooklynn, I have utmost respect for both of them and the decision they both are going to have to make - one way or the other.

We met with the birth-mother a couple weeks ago.  We told her people across this country and around the world were praying for her.

She was overwhelmed that you all would be bringing her before the Lord.  We ask you continue to do this.

Danielle and I are so thankful for each of you.

The impact you have had on our lives is impossible to put into words.

This season of life hasn't been easy, but it sure is sweet.

I have never felt closer to the Lord and Danielle's faith and strength is simply incredible to see and to witness.

She is an incredible Mom, incredible wife and a model for women in the way she trusts the Lord when times are tough and when they are fun.

And there are lots of fun times!

As for Brooklynn, she continues to grow.

She is 8 weeks now.

Sleeping 5-6 hours a night.

She is starting to play with toys, smiles, sitting up a bit more and loves to fly above our heads!

We'll keep you all posted on what happens next.

Thanks for your ongoing prayer and support for our little one.

Ryan and Danielle

Trust in the Lord

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lead not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, submit to him and he will make your path straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

This is a verse I am trying to figure out, trying to understand and trying to live out.

"Trust in the Lord" is something that rolls off our tongues, but rarely shows up in our lives.

I like how dictionary.com explains the meaning of the word "Trust."

It says "trust" is the confident expectation of something or "hope."

So the first part of this verse means we are to have confident expectation or hope in the Lord...

It goes onto say, not leaning on your own understanding.

I take this to mean, not leaning on what I know - but being confident in the hope of the Lord - which we all know is greater than anything we know.

Then in Proverbs 3:6 - we are told to submit to the Lord so he can make our path right.

Without submitting to the Lord, our path won't be straight - or it won't be aligned with what the Lord has for us.

So here I am pondering this verse about my own life.

Am I being confident and hopeful in the Lord?
Am I admitting my own understanding is limited, but his understanding is great?

It sure would be nice to say it is, but I don't think it is most of the time.

I find myself putting limits to what God is capable of doing because I don't have a limitless mind.

I think all of us do this.

I try to take control of every situation instead if submitting it over to him.

We are all human so I know there are things we need to submit and hand over to the Lord.

Let's give him our concerns and let's decide not to limit what he can do through them or how he can resolve them.

-Ryan

Refusing to ask "why"

In the past couple days, I have asked God a lot of questions about our situation.  By now, you probably know we are facing the realization that our Baby Brooklynn may not be with us as long as we wanted.  But one question I refuse to ask is "why."  Throughout my life, I have witnessed people demanding to know "why" in situations they go through, but I just won't ask that question.  Here's "why"....

Despite my broken heart, so many tears, feeling  exhausted physically and emotionally - I believe without a doubt that God is walking us through this journey for a purpose.  Weeks ago, I started a blog post with the verse "For I know the plans I have for you declare the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."  This comes from Jeremiah 29:11 and 12.  This is an easy verse to claim when it feels like everything is going in the right direction, but it's even more true when you have lost control and are at the mercy of the Lord.  We are praying, you are praying and our wonderful savior is listening.

Today, we accept that all control is gone, our hope for what we wanted is fading - but the promise that there is hope tomorrow is stronger than ever.

Family and Friends, if you get nothing else from what we are going through - hear this.  In the darkest days of our lives thus far, I bear witness to the fact that God's love and strength are enough.  Not for a second, has God left our side and my friends - he is at your side as well.  I know it, I believe it and I claim it.  I want you to do the same, this experience just isn't worth it if you aren't willing to claim the promises of Christ.

This morning, I surrendered everything to him and man was it hard.  I even said, "Lord - if it is your will, take my daughter and please protect her."  God knows I want her with us as long as we are here and this continues to be my prayer - but I am willing to do whatever God wants.

Finally, I encourage you to praise God for this situation.  I know I am trying!  As tough as things are, there is joy to be had.  God has given us great days with Brooklynn and we have no idea how many more we will have, God has used us to care for this little girl in her time of need, God is using this little girl to bring others close to him, he using her to bring people together and we know this is just the beginning.

So, let's not ask why.  Let's look forward with great anticipation to God  continuing to reveal himself through this situation.

Danielle, Brooklynn, myself and our families are grateful for your prayers and support.  Countless churches are praying for our situation coast to coast and around the world.  We are truly humbled that so many of you have put aside what you are going through to pray for us and reach out to us.  The truths you are speaking about the Lord are so powerful.

A blessing bigger than we could have prayed for

I have an urge to use a good cliche, write an attention grabbing headline or even tease you a bit.  But as every good writer knows, often times the facts of the story are stronger than any words preceding them. 

Brooklynn Marie is home with us.

Through a carefully orchestrated plan that only our Heavenly Father could pull together, we are the proud parents of a healthy baby girl.  Brooklynn Marie was born October 3rd.

Let me back-up a bit so you understand what took place.  As you have read on this blog, Danielle and I began the process of adoption a year ago last month.  This was something we had prayed about for years both individually and together.  I'll spare you the details of how we got to this point - only to say that a Birth-Mom selected us after reading our profile.  She liked that Danielle's parents would be called Oma and Opa, she liked the looks on our faces in the pictures and she liked that we had friends who had young kids.  She said Brooklynn kicked a bit when she was looking at our profile.

We can't post pictures until the adoption is finalized - which could be next Spring.  This adoption process is not over yet as several things still need to take place.  We ask that you pray for us in this process, pray for the birth-Mom and praise God for bringing Brooklynn into our lives to love.

We were so fortunate that she arrived in time for my Parents and my Aunt and Uncle to meet her during a pre-planned trip to Nashville.  We will share more in the future, but wanted you all to know.

We have never in our lives been blessed by such great friends and our supportive family and we thank you all.  We pray God will bless you as you have all blessed us.

Ryan, Danielle and Brooklynn

Surrender

Surrender is a hard word to accept. It means to give up, to let go, to release control and to abandon. Man, this is a hard thing for me. I really like being in control of things, especially the big things in life. I went to bed last night and began to battle with myself. I was praying to God that the right thing would fall in my lap, that the right thing would happen and everything else in life would be clear. I kept asking and asking and asking for a break, for something. Then it became clear as I was calling on God for help. It's as if I could hear his voice asking, "what are you giving me?" I hadn't heard something this clear before. I kept battling and then it dawned on me, I wasn't listening. He wanted me to SURRENDER control of something so dear to me. He wanted to be Lord over it, not me. I kept praying and finally surrendered it. Oh my word, what a relief. But I also surrendered future control of it. Scary it sure is, but I want God to be the Lord of my future. I continued to pray and seek the Lord and I felt God asking me to give something else, something that hurts - something that I will feel. I gave it, I'm giving it. So I prayed some more and I wanted to make sure that none of this was an emotional response, but a spiritual response. I slept on it, woke up and prayed. I talked to Danielle. We talked about it. Yep, this is what the Lord wants of us. He wants me to SURRENDER control of our lives. This is a beginning point for me, for us. I'm so thankful God's voice is louder than the voices in my head. -Ryan

Grounded

I've been writing this week about three types of people you need in your life. I first heard the idea while attending "Promise Keepers." You need someone that you can build into, someone that can build into you and someone to walk through life with you. I wrap up with this topic because I think it is so important. Here are a few people who have walked through life with me - and continue to make a profound impact on me. Danielle No surprise here, but my dear wife. We will celebrate four years of marriage next month. Danielle is my rock. Danielle keeps me sane, pushes me to be better and is so patient with me. Throughout our marriage, Danielle has been a rock for me, been faithful to me and been everything I need when I need it. Danielle knows when I need her to remind me to be more caring towards people or when I need her unwavering support. When I am feeling attacked, Danielle steps up and takes the blows for me while building me up at the same time. Danielle prays like crazy. Danielle believes the best about people. At her core, she is so gentle. Danielle will give everything she has to help someone else. She has made me a better giver, a better husband and taught me there is so much value in trusting the Lord. Danielle carries us through tough times and makes the good times so much better! I love her with all my heart and so blessed to have her with me on this journey. Gregg Apple Valley Elementary - home of the Cougars and home to some, well let's just say - important learning experiences! I learned a lot about myself there. I learned I couldn't keep a beat, that Math wasn't my thing, I figured out lamps don't raise the temperature on a thermometer and that writing a book report on a book you never read isn't a good idea. But at that school, I also met a friend - who would end up making a profound impact on my life. My friend Gregg and I first started hanging out in second grade. He was smarter than me, better at sports and was a lot more driven than me. None of that kept us from being friends. We had some similar interests like riding bikes, riding the Yakima Transit, we even talked about starting our own lawn-mowing business. Good thing we never did! We would spend our elementary, middle and high school years having classes together and becoming even friends over time. We traveled to Disneyland, the beach, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, New York, Canada and then Europe over the course of a few decades of friendship. We also went through tough family times together - the death of both our Grandfathers, death of pets and so much more. We talked each other through various moves in life, career choices and relationships. But through it all, Gregg has made a pretty big impact on my life - and in a very profound way. Gregg always wanted the best. We have had several conversations over the years. I would start to settle on something, but Gregg would remind me there is something better - worth working for. He didn't settle and he never expected me to settle either. This is the type of accountability you don't find in a self-help book, it's the type of accountability you're lucky to get in life. Gregg has pushed me to be a better leader, a better man and a better husband. Gregg encouraged me to work harder, to be better and to expect to win. You can't ask for a better friend than that. My Grandpa I could talk about the greatness of my Grandpa, but I'll keep it short - because he's not one for wasting words. I talk to him almost every day. Something I appreciate is that I can't outwork him (despite him being 84), I can't out-pray him and I can't out-give him. He isn't proud of my earthy accomplishments, instead he rejoices when we make eternal accomplishments. He keeps me balanced and isn't afraid to ask me the questions few others will. I've given you insight into 9 people that are part of my life. There are so many more that deserve a lot of credit, but I have told you these stories as proof that three types of people in our lives are necessary. People who we can build into, people who build into us and people who aren't afraid to tell it like it is - and walk through this journey with us. Who is playing these roles in your life?

Weekend Adventures

Hope you had a good weekend. I am a big fan of exploring and checking out new places. This weekend was another weekend of firsts for us. Danielle's brother came to visit. It's always so fun to have people visit and reminds us of the great people we have in our lives. It also gives us opportunities to see new places that we don't normally get to visit.

Saturday morning, we got up early and drove to Bowling Green, KY. That's about an hour north of here and a good drive. We went to Lost Cave. A storm was moving through so we didn't explore the property much, but I think another visit would give us a chance to see more around the property. What we did do there was take a boat ride through a cave. The price was a little steep for the experience. You take a 5 minute walk to get on the boat and then you set off in the cave. Watch your head, the first part of the cave has a low ceiling. I managed to bump my head a few times as we went through it. The 15-20 minute tour teaches you about the questionable history of the cave. There is a good story about people who restored it the past few decades. This was fun to do, but as my brother-in-law said: you do this once and you don't need to do it again. That said, we had a good time together and stayed mostly dry.

What I would recommend you check out is the Corvette Museum. This is just off the interstate. I'm not a car guy, but I found this to be a great learning experience and one of the better museums I have toured. They do a nice job explaining the storied history of the Corvette - while also making it very visually appealing. This was a very relevant museum that would appeal to people of any age whether you like cars or not. You get to look at all different models of Corvettes and they have a neat cafe that is very reasonably priced where you can grab lunch.

Sunday afternoon, we went to the always impressive Jack Daniel's distillery. I highly recommend this to anyone visiting Middle Tennessee. Have a great week!

-Ryan

Vision in the Valley

I have been doing a lot of praying lately and a lot of thinking. In this process, I have realized that I feel I am in some kind of valley right now. You know what I mean - down low enough where the hills are tall enough that you can't see what is around you. I don't like this place and I'm not here because anything is wrong or bad, it's just a place I find myself right now. I spent some time in prayer last night as I was going to sleep and I realized this isn't the place I want to be. Life is full of these times, but I don't think God created me personally to be stuck in these places - so I started praying for something bigger. I started praying for Vision in the Valley. Not sure if this makes sense to you, but it does to me. I don't want to miss what I'm supposed to see right now. I want to see what is around me, what is ahead of me and what God has in store for me. I know this valley isn't a permanent place and I know God is seeing me through it. Today, I am praying for those of you in a similar valley. I'm praying God will give you vision and motivation that will get you through it. I've written before that these are crucial days in our lives. I can't wait to get above this point and praise God for what he taught me here. My friends, let us be thankful valleys aren't forever!

-Ryan

My Foundation

In the first post, I told you that I have tried to live my life with three types of people in it. People that build into me, people that hold me accountable and people that I build into. I started by telling you about the people I have built into and the lessons I learned from them. Now, I'm going to tell you about those that helped build into me. I consider these people to be part of "My Foundation." Mike There is a man that has had more of an impact on my life than he'll ever know. As a young boy, I was interested in TV news and he was already doing it. Mike attended our church and my Dad asked him if I could shadow him at work some day. Mike was open to it and let a wide-eyed overweight kid see his dreams come true. I followed Mike around from story to story - day after day. Mike photographed, edited, reported and anchored the news. He gave me my first taste of the TV newsroom. As a shy kid, it took a special person to be able to relate to me. Mike's ability to connect with me and value me not only helped shape my career, but shape who I am as a person. I manage the way I do and focus on the things I focus on because Mike taught me values at an early age in TV. You can't put a price on this. I followed in Mike's footsteps, getting my first job at the TV station he worked. Now Mike is a pastor. Time will tell if I continue to follow in his footsteps! Dave At my darkest moment of life, a guy I hardly knew walked through the scary doors it with me. I was in college, experiencing some health issues. My cousin who worked at the college introduced me to a guy who was interested in media. He and I went out to coffee and drove a couple hundred miles as he listened to what was going on in my life. Instead of overreacting, he calmly helped me make some tough decisions and he stood by me in those decisions in the weeks and months to come. He was a role model and a friend. For several years following, he would check on me and my health. Dave prayed for me, listened to me and encouraged me. He also taught me how important that is to do for others. I hope my efforts in this area will be honoring to both him and more importantly the Lord. Dad This probably isn't a surprise, but the man responsible for my foundation - more than anyone else is my father. He raised me to love others, raised me to care for others, raised me to work hard and raised me to love the Lord. He didn't do this by telling me everything, he let me learn it and he loved me through it. Unlike a lot of people, I grew up with a Dad who interrupted meetings to take care of me, who would drive hours to make sure I was okay, who provided a calm voice in a chaotic situation - you don't get that anywhere else. Dad taught me value in taking care of people. He taught me "helping people" could be a hobby. I am thankful for my Dad teaching me how to be a Godly man in an un-Godly world and that you can be successful while standing for the Lord at the same time. I have a firm foundation because of Godly men committed to showing me the way. It is their legacy I hope to carry-on for others. Next Post... The people that kept me accountable

The Original Three

Throughout my life, I have focused on having three types of people in my life. People that build into me, people that hold me accountable and people I get to build my life into. Over the next few days, I will write about these different people in my life because I think the lessons learned from them are so valuable both for you and for me and these lessons deserve to be in writing. Today, I am going to write about "The Original Three." These are three guys I met when I began doing youth ministry many years ago. It was my calling to build into their lives, but what I learned from them far outweighs anything I could have taught or given them. Today, I am honored to call these guys, now adults, friends. In no particular order, here are some valuable lessons I learned from them. I hope you'll learn something too. Chris I met Chris when he was in 6th grade. Chris always walked into our youth room full of energy and excitement. He made people laugh! Chris and I used to eat pancakes with his family before church and then go to Starbucks. We found so much to laugh about! We took every chance we got to laugh at ourselves. Chris taught me to slow down a little bit and enjoy the process of life. I remember teaching him how to drive my car which had a manual transmission. Yeah, because that's what a youth worker should be doing with his students! Like any good driving teacher, I took him on a hill the first time, a steep one. Of course, the car stalled and Chris didn't worry or get panicked, he laughed. What a gift! Through so many things over the years, Chris chose to smile and accept what was going on - instead of focusing on everything that was wrong. Chris is a successful guy now doing what he loves - selling cars. Chris is successful because he focuses on what is good and refuses to let tough times take him out. Jeremy Jeremy didn't want to talk to me the first time he met me at youth group. He was shy and so was I! After all these years, finally talking to me probably seems like the biggest mistake of his life! Ha! Truthfully though, Jeremy is a gift from God and a gift to my family. Jeremy didn't have it easy. In fact, Jeremy had it pretty tough - but you sure wouldn't know it now. I am not going to go into specific details, but let me just say - Jeremy overcame circumstances few could overcome. I know it's because he had faithful parents, solid people in his life and a God who loves him. I always appreciated that Jeremy would ask God to prove himself to him - and God certainly did. So what lessons do we learn from Jeremy's life? The thing that stands out to me the most is: Jeremy faced his fears, so can I. As a child, as a student and as an adult, Jeremy has faced his fears and done so better than anyone I know. Jeremy is honest about life, has an incredible memory and a great sensitivity to people. I believe God has blessed Jeremy with these traits by the way he handled everything that came his way. I am so proud of Jeremy. He is college graduate, successfully working in the financial industry and living for the Lord. I thank Jeremy for teaching me that great things come out of tough times. Chase Oh, what I would do right now to have the opportunity to sit at the dinner table with Chase and his family. I met Chase when he was in middle school. I instantly hit it off with him and his family. I know I needed them more than they needed me. Chase became my little brother. We would share meals together with his parents, we would go to various church events and find countless ways to laugh at each other - and others too! But what I have always appreciated about Chase is how good he makes people around him feel. I always wanted new students to be around Chase because he didn't care where you came from, what you are going through or who you are - he just wanted you to be happy and have a good time. Everybody liked Chase because Chase liked everybody. As Chase has gotten older, his love and acceptance of people has grown. Chase is a hard worker and cares deeply for people. It was so great to have him stand beside me on my wedding day. You've just read the stories of three people who I thought I would get to impact. Instead, God used them to impact me. I hope they know that. We all live miles apart, but I certainly cherish the friendships I have with "The Original Three" - and am thankful God used them to teach me to focus on what is good, to persevere through tough times and to love those around me. I'm proud of these three young men for following their dreams, attempting to live the best life they can and for their friendship. I have been blessed by their lives and I know others will be as well. When you feel God calling you to be part of someone's life, don't ignore it. Who knows? You may be on the verge of getting a new friendship that will last a lifetime. Next post... The three people that impacted me.

Life in Nashville

You probably have read some of our Facebook and Twitter posts and have seen our big news on here about the adoption happening, but I realized I hadn't written much to update you on our lives here lately. Next month, we will celebrate four years of marriage and 2 years in Nashville. I must say, it seems a little strange that half of our married life and soon to be more will have been spent here in Nashville. Here is a quick update on what has been happening and what we have been learning here in Middle Tennessee. As you know, Danielle and I felt God calling us here to Nashville a couple years ago. We had been praying about what he wanted us to do and where he wanted us to go. At the time, we couldn't pinpoint exactly where we would be going, but we knew we'd be leaving all that was familiar to us. An opportunity came up for me in Nashville. I interviewed and took the job. My how time flies. I'll never forget when I was interviewing here and drove to Gaylord Opryland. It wasn't open yet because of the flood, but I pulled in the parking lot and I called Danielle. I told her this was the place I felt God was calling us. I was scared, anxious, nervous, excited and felt so much peace about it. Two years later, I must say I still have those feelings at times - especially the peace from God. Living here has been an adjustment for us in many ways. In some ways, it has been very easy. Going to church is a normal thing to do, people say they pray for you all the time. Nashville has a healthy economy, you don't see people struggling here the way they do in other places. We know it is happening, it's just not as evident. People here are proud to be from Nashville. They take great pride in this part of the country - like I have never seen before. On the flip side, this is not an accepting culture. I see so many people here longing to be loved for who they are. Sure, this is the case everywhere - but it's different here. Because of a well-documented past, people here still struggle to accept each other the ways you see in other parts of the country. We are honored that people here have accepted us and we have embraced the people of Nashville. Enough of my assessment on Nashville. Here is what Danielle and I have been learning. We have learned to take care of ourselves by ourselves. I am so thankful we learned this at such an early part of our marriage. We haven't had our parents available to rescue us or take care of us. We have learned to rely on each other for everything. This has made us so much stronger as a couple. At the same time, we have learned that God provides the right people in your life at the right time. Because we don't have family here, we learned that friends can also be family. Never in my life have I been blessed so much by friendships. We have celebrated holidays with friends, birthdays and so much more. We have leaned on them to help us and I hope we have been there for them. The word friendship has a new meaning to us and we are so fortunate God put these people in our lives. We have learned God gives us direction. From the moment we moved here, God has been guiding us. He has shown us which steps to take and where to go. God is doing a great work in our hearts. He is teaching us patience, understanding and trust. I don't think we would have learned this if we hadn't made the move here. Living here, Danielle and I have been able to see so much of the country. We have been to Arkansas, Missouri, Alabama, Illinois, North and South Carolina and all over Tennessee. It's been important for us to embrace the culture and the people here. We are doing that. This is making this experience in our lives so much sweeter. All of this to say, we long for our family. I long to share dinner with my parents, to sit and visit with my Grandparents, to give my Nana a hug, to play with my niece and nephew, to talk with my sister, to walk along the lake by my in-laws home and breathe in the fresh air. There is one thing that hasn't been replaced on this move and that's the love I have for my family. I miss them every day and long to be with them again. God has taught me to pray so much more and I'm so thankful for that. Danielle and I believe God is the creator of our future and we are looking forward to what he has in store for us. That said, I could never have planned this part of our journey better and I have a feeling the next part will be just the same. We know many of you have brought us before the Lord and we thank you for it. God is stirring up a great passion in our hearts and we look forward to seeing him make things clear to us in the months and years to come. -Ryan

You're adopting, now what?

Several times a day, I walk by a room in our home that is nearly empty. I look through the door and see a large giraffe some dear friends gave us a while ago for our baby's room. This giraffe will always be special to us. It is a visual reminder that before our child is born, people are already praying for him or her. As "someday parents" who have prayed a long time for this child, it is so encouraging to know others are praying as well. At times, I go in the baby's room and stand and look around. I imagine what it will be like someday. I know some nights I'll be picking the child up and wiping away his or her tears, I know other days I will be rocking him or her to sleep and other times we'll be playing and having fun. I can't wait to walk in there and see our baby stand-up and smile - anticipating us coming to lift him or her from the crib. When we began the adoption the process, I really protected my heart and even my emotions. I still do. But as time goes on, I'm allowing myself feel the future. I have prayed about this a lot and I feel this what God wants of me. I'm allowing myself to ask questions, to wonder what it will be like to parent an adopted child. We've done a lot of research, talked to a lot of people, read a lot of books - but none of that can really prepare my heart. That's for God to do and I leave it to him to change my heart. The one consistent thing about this adoption process is waiting. That's what we are doing. We are waiting and praying. It's actually a really good place to be. We know we may be waiting and praying for years and we're okay with that. Sure, we want things sooner - but we're learning patience. We have seen Satan try and take us down through this process. He tries to discourage us and I know he's ramping up his efforts, but life experience and knowledge and faith and verses from the bible remind us our God is victorious and the battle is already won. You know another thing I have really appreciated about this process? I've significantly increased how much I pray. I communicate with God a lot more often and I'm my relationship with him is growing and changing and I know it will continue to do so. So today, I wait. I'll walk into the baby's room this evening - which until a few weeks ago, I called the extra bedroom and I'll pray. I'll pray for our child's birth-mother, I'll pray for the birth-mother's heart, for her life, for her safety, for her protection and I'll pray for her child. I'll pray that she'll be pleased with how we raise her child, that God will bless her in mighty ways for sacrificing and that God will meet all of her needs. This is a beautiful time in our lives. We are getting an education that money can't buy, but one only the holy spirit can provide. I will forever treasure these days and the time with Danielle that I really cherish. Ryan

Our News

Family & Friends,   We have some news to share with you - and we know it will come as a surprise for some, but we feel now is the right time to share with you.  Danielle and I have begun the process of adopting a child.  We began praying about this a long time ago.  Both of us thought about it before we got married and we discussed it more after marriage.  The Lord used a conference that Danielle attended last year to make it clear to us that he was calling us to adopt a child.  At the root of this calling for us is: How do we give back what we have been given?  We are often reminded that to whom much is given, even more is expected.  We know we have been given a lot in life and we know even more is expected of us - and this is part of that.   While volunteering at the church early last year, Danielle came across an adoption agency.  We did some investigating and decided to go with them.  Since this is on the internet, we are being a bit a vague on a few things like the agency, but you are welcome to ask us anything individually over email, the phone or any other private way of communicating!  Back to the agency...we chose this particular agency because it is there for the mother, her family and the child which directly lines up with our purpose and values.   So, how did we get to today?  Beginning last fall, we filled out a lot of paperwork, attended a meeting, filled out some more paperwork, attended some weekly classes through the winter and filled out a lot more paperwork!  We were interviewed individually and together in the Spring - both by the agency and a psychiatrist.  We then had our home-study earlier this Summer, another round of interviews and a final home-study.  Danielle made some scrapbooks for prospective birth-mothers to look at and our home-study was just recently approved - which brings us to today.   Later this month, we will officially begin waiting for the child the Lord has for us.  This could take weeks, it could take months, it could take years.  However long it takes, we know this is what God has called us to do and we are preparing as best we can for the child he will provide for us.  As we talked about what God was asking of us, we felt the Lord calling us to be open to a few things.  One of those is that we are open to loving a child with disabilities, another is that we are open to loving a child of another race.   I expect you to be wondering right now if we are unable to have children of our own.  As far as we know, we can!  We have been called to adoption at this time in our lives and have responded to the call.  We have no idea what the future holds, how many children we will have, if we will adopt again or get pregnant.    This is a lot to process right now and we want you to feel free to ask either of us questions.  We will be posting more on this in the days ahead and we will also be making our blog private to protect our information and give you more access in our lives during this exciting time.  It is our prayer that we will honor the Lord as we pursue what he has in store for us.  We appreciate your prayers and support going forward and are so thankful to have you part of our lives and this great journey!   Much more to come in the days and weeks ahead.   Love, Ryan & Danielle 

October 18 Reflections

I am a writer. I like to start each piece with a killer sentence. Something that will shock you, something that will grab your attention. Something you will resonate with. I could start this piece with a line about one of our first nights here and our first experience with a tornado warning...the fear, the intimidation of it, the respect for it and our longing to return to all that was comfortable. I could start this with a line about the emotion we had driving out of Portland for the last time - emotion so intense, there wasn't a bodily function to express it. I could write about the disappointment we felt after attending our first church service here - knowing we were totally under dressed and lonely and would be lonely for another week. I could write about the excitement we felt the first night we went out to dinner with a couple and came away feeling like we had met new friends. I could write about the fresh air that I walked in each morning or the intense humidity that greeted me when I opened the door on a mid-summer morning. I could talk about the joy we felt when Danielle was offered a job at the church. You get the point by now. This isn't about one event or one story, this about many stories and many lessons we have learned in our first year in Nashville.

The Lord brought us to this place. It's not perfect, it's not a place I would have picked - it's a place he picked and he chose us as imperfect people to be part of . We struggled at times this last year. The first couple months were hard. We felt lonely, scared, longing for friends and longing for a place that felt like home. But through it all, we knew this was his plan and what would evolve would not be what we wanted or how we planned, but what we he wanted and what he planned. I remember waking up several mornings wondering what we were doing here. All I knew is that he wanted us here and he would allow things to happen that regularly reminded us of that truth. It took time, but we became content in it. He taught us to believe in ways we never had, to love each other in ways we didn't know we could and he is delivering his plan to us step-by-step...which is better than anything we could have imagined ourselves.

It's only fitting to recap what a year it has been and give our great God the praise for what he is doing in Nashville and how he using this place and the people here to challenge us and grow us. Our first experience with storms happened about 48 hours after we arrived. We lived through it and lived through many more. We have learned what clouds to fear, what clouds to ignore, we have seen the sky pitch black in the middle of the day and felt the power of the fierce winds and intense humidity in the middle of the night. In the winter, we got to experience one of Nashville's worst snowfalls in many years. There were several major snow events (more than 2 inches) this year which is much more than the city normally gets. We learned here that driving in the snow here means stopping on hills and tailgating the person in front of you - no matter how much ice may be on the road! The spring was wonderful with warm weather early plus a few storms. The summer brought heat and humidity that Ryan loved and Danielle preferred to avoid. We experienced Cicadas. Giant and very loud bugs that appear once every 13 years. They weren't the only bugs we saw, we also saw some big spiders along some of our favorite walking trails. Throughout this year, I have been reminded God has a since of humor and I think he's using us and our experiences to entertain him!

Enough with the weather, here's the good stuff! We have seen more of this incredible country than we ever imagined! On our way here, we drove through Idaho, Utah, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois and Kentucky. In the Spring, Danielle and I got away for a few days in Atlanta. In the Summer, we visited friends in Springfield, Missouri and spent a day in Branson, time in Memphis, Louisville and Indianapolis. During a visit with Danielle's parents, we visited a space museum in Huntsville, Alabama. We have seen countless places around Nashville and appreciated so much of this nation's great history.

Our family has been a huge support to us. Both sets of our parents visited, Ryan's Grandparents spent time with us as did Danielle's brother. Their support through this year has been wonderful and so special. I wouldn't be telling the truth if I said we haven't missed watching our niece and nephew grow up. Even during the toughest moments, I have to remember that God brought us to this place and wants us here. I can't begin to tell you what an assurance this truth has been - and one we believe will hold up until he moves us somewhere else.

Our friends! What a special gift. The first couple we met was a couple a little older than our parents. Dave and Reba have been so wonderful. They invited us to church and we soon started attending there, they helped us get involved at church and have had us over for dinner numerous times. This has been a very special relationship that we are so thankful for. They really have been a gift from God - especially during the first few months here when we felt alone.

We got plugged in to a Sunday School at church. Danielle was sick the first Sunday so Ryan went alone. I was terrified, but so glad I went. That first week, another couple came for the first time. Over time, we became friends with them. We met another couple as well that we became instantly close with. They were in our lives for a short period of time before moving to Missouri for work, but we all remain close friends and talk several times a week. We have visited them and had many great conversations. We have become close with another couple as well. This is in addition to several other relationships we now have. Ryan meets with a group of guys for coffee every other Friday and Danielle has several friends she meets with on a regular basis.

Our jobs! Yep, the Lord is providing! Ryan's job is going well. I continue to grow and learn new things. I am managing a group of about 80 people. They stretch me, drive me crazy, make me laugh and do great work! They are a group of hard-working people - and let me say, the Lord is alive in this newsroom! God is working on the hearts of people here and there are a number of believers praying for non-believers. It is an exciting thing to be part of.

Danielle came here without a job. We didn't know if she would work or if she would volunteer. She started volunteering for a pastor at our church. Over time, she was offered her dream job with the Youth Ministry. She plans many of the events and is an administrative assistant to the High School Pastor. She also coordinates volunteers to work at the front desk. She is really enjoying it and people are loving here! I can brag, I am her husband! A lady came up to me a couple of Sundays ago and wanted me to know how much people appreciate my wife. She went on to tell me that Danielle keeps things organized and truly shows that she cares for people. It is so exciting to see the Lord using Danielle in this area.

We have been having so much fun experiencing new things. From new restaurants, to pumpkin patches, new stores, new towns and new adventures. This place is truly a special place to us.

As I reflect on this year, I am thankful. God is taking care of us and meeting our needs in more ways than we could imagine. He is paving the way for us. I look back on the past 12 months and have a hard time accepting all that has happened because it truly has been so much. We believed when we began dating that God would move us somewhere. We felt and emptiness and a longing for him to do more with our lives. My friends and family, he is doing it. We are full and satisfied with what is taking place each day. God is changing us and allowing us to be challenged and grow in new ways. We don't know what happens next, but we know he is leading the way. We are so thankful for so many people who have prayed for us and encouraged us along this journey. This is an exciting time in our history and we look forward to the future he has planned for us.

-Ryan

Also, today is our 3 year Anniversary!